22 Reasons We Love Tom Cleveland

1) He still allows me to choose where we eat on Valentines Day, even though I ALWAYS choose Subway for the sole purpose of telling everyone that he took me to Subway on Valentines Day. And then they make fun of him and I laugh. (Ashlee)

2) He has a very distinct uni-brow but isn’t afraid to make fun of my “towel-rack” nose. (Baylee)

3) I luv my daddy becuz he letz me chase peacock birdz at hiz house. Not many people’s daddy haz peacock birdz but mine doez and they are very tazty. (Aphid)

4) He counts sheep for me via telephone when I can’t sleep because I simply don’t have the imagination to count invisible sheep. (Ashlee)

5) Because there’s always the possibility that my Christmas present is going to be alive. (Baylee)

6) I chewz a hole in the wall of his bathroom and then he patched it so I culd do itz again. (Aphid)

7) Because he didn’t break up with me after I lied and told him my parents said I could have a rabbit, when in fact, they said I was dead meat if I bought a rabbit. They never said TOM couldn’t buy a rabbit and give it to me. (Ashlee)

8) Every time I ride in his truck, I have to move numerous guns and 4,000 boxes of ammo to find a seat. (Baylee)

9) becuz he eatz like a slob and dwops foooood on the floor for me to eat. (Baylee) (hahahaha just kidding…that was Aphid)

10) He managed to puke on me twice (2nd and 6th grade) and was still smooth enough to convince me to go on a date with him in 11th grade. (Ashlee)

11) He spent $20 on a remote-controled coyote call just so he could put it outside my bedroom window and send me to an early death. (Baylee)

12) I’m hungwy. (Aphid)

13) He cleaned dog poop off my jeans after his grandparent’s dog relieved himself on my leg…the first time I met them. (Ashlee)

14) He didn’t get mad when 3 weeks after he taught me to drive his stick-shift truck, he needed a new transmission. It was just a coincidence……….(Ashlee)

15) Because I mentioned I wanted a Wii before I went to class and when I got back from class he was bowling on a brand new Wii. (Ashlee)

16) I forgetted wut I wuz gunna say. (Aphid)

17) While on a cruise to the Bahamas, he made really great sculptures out of the chocolate the maids left on his pillow. (Baylee)

18) He hides notes under my pillow, still opens the car door for me, and watches Disney movies even though he hates them. (Ashlee)

19) One Halloween, he and my mom threw a bloody, fake arm out of the car window at a group of little children playing in the street. (Baylee)

20) When I asked him to bring me back a souvenir from Boy’s State in Statesboro, he brought a spray-painted, glitter-adorned toilet-seat-cover dispenser stolen from the men’s bathroom. (Ashlee)

21) Because he sendz mommy flowars and letz me take all of the cwedit. (Aphid)

22) We love Tom because he still loves us, even after all of this.

Happy 22nd Birthday, Tom.