Can't Nothin' Fail But A Try

Tom is always complaining about how I never go fishing with him.

So, after convincing him to drive the coast of Florida with me for Spring Break '11, I figured I at least owed him a fishing trip. I decided to take Baylee and Aphid along for moral support and to carry my camera bags.

My first clue that this was going to be a really unsuccessful trip was when the local bait shop was out of ... bait. That's almost as annoying as the time I went to Sticky Fingers Rib Shack to discover they were out of ribs.

Trying to remain positive after finding out we have no bait to fish with, I suggest we find our own bait. When I was little, we used to pour Tide mixed with a bucket of water into the ground to make earthworms surface. So, we tried that. Of course it didn't work because we actually needed the worms this time. Tom also tried "vibrating" the ground with a metal stake and a hammer. He swore it would work. It didn't.

(Baylee has very kindly documented the entire adventure on paper to help you out visually because Tom threatened to break my camera.)

After about 30 minutes of trying to "charm" worms out of the earth, we grab a loaf of bread and head to the river.

We're well on our way when I notice that Tom keeps looking backwards.

"Is something wrong, Tom?"

"Nah, it's fine. The tire on the left side of the boat trailer looks low on air. We'll probably make it. Can't nothin' fail but a try..."

"Whatever."

The tire on the trailer popped. Or exploded. That would probably be a more accurate description of what happened.

My mood immediately improves because now, I know we won't be fishing today since I have to be back in town by 6:30.

I giggle. "Can't nothin' fail but a try."

Baylee starts laughing.

Well, this makes Tom very angry. So angry that he says inappropriate things.

We navigate to the side of the road and the truck behind us slowly drives past. The two men in the truck are engaged in a full-on fit of laughter. Apparently, when our tire exploded, it blew the fender 10 feet up in the air. I don't blame them. I was laughing, too.

At this point, Tom has reached his limit:

And as a photojournalist-in-training, I have been taught that when someone reaches their limit, you take pictures. I immediately start shooting Tom, the shredded tire, and the lop-sided trailer.

And so, after dumping the boat in a pecan orchard, heading back to town for a spare tire, and finally, heading back to the boat to put the new tire on, we return to the house without having come within 15 miles of the river.

Here are some pictures that I took while Tom was too busy to threaten me and my camera:

And some pictures of the mean, grumpy-pants, Hulk himself:

And I'm also pretty sure I can get you a great deal on a boat (trailer included) if you're interested.